Do you speak LOVE, fluently?
I’ve always wondered why we use the word LOVE in so many different contexts.
- I love my coffee.
- I love my husband.
- I love my kids.
- I love the color teal.
- I love nature’s colors in the fall.
- I love learning.
I’ve learned that to see from the perspective of love (I call it “Reframe from Love”) may be harder than doing the acts of love themselves. I “knew” this and yet I have a whole new level of appreciation given the polarization of our communities these past few months and how tired I feel from practicing love in action (for myself and for others). It would be easier to allow the anger to fester into hate. I could justify my feeling in the root of our differences and disagreements.
That doesn’t solve anything.
They say the Inuit language has 40-50 words for snow. They must have a lot of experience with snow. I wonder, can we have that kind of experience with love?
I found a summary of 8 types of love presented by ftd.com. I’m sure we can come up with some more. Combine 8 types (from ftd) with the 5 love languages synthesized by Gary Chapman, and we can certainly reach 40…(8×5=40). Right?
my study continues…
Ftd offers 8 types of love:
- Philia: Affectionate love. A love that runs deep in true friendships. LOVE IN ACTION: Share your beliefs and imperfections with close friends.
- Eros: Romantic love. Personal infatuation and physical pleasure. LOVE IN ACTION: Appropriate, mutually concenting, physical touch
- Philautia: Self-love. Having a healthy self-compassion love towards one’s self. LOVE IN ACTION: Respect, accept and appreciate your self.
- Agape: Self-less love. An empathetic attitude of love fore everyone and anyone. LOVE IN ACTION: Express unconditional love and non-judgment.
- Ludus: Playful love. Beginning stages of intimate love. LOVE IN ACTION: Flirtatious play with one you admire.
- Mania: Obsessive love. Obsessiveness or madness over a love partner. LOVE IN ACTION: not recommended.
- Storge: Familiar love. Flows between parents and children or childhood friends. LOVE IN ACTION: Show gratitude towards people close to you
- Pragma: Enduring love. Mature love that develops over time. LOVE IN ACTION: Put effort into connection and reciprocative relationships.
Gary Chapman’s Love Languages provides a helpful foundation to explore what love looks like in KINDS of action. After all, what good is love if it’s not put into tangible form? Chapman proposes 5 styles of expressing love, he calls Love Languages. As humans we have the capability to express and receive love in all five ways, but probably have a preferred manner to which we are most receptive. Take the 5 Love Language Quiz for yourself.
- Words of Affirmation: using words to build up another person, encouragement, gratitude, affirmation
- Acts of Service: doing something for another that you know they will appreciate
- Physical Touch: a hand shake, a hug, or a pat on the back might be just the action to share an expression of love in a non-threatening, non-sexual way. In an intimate relationship, this could include more overt sexual expressions as well.
- Quality Time: offering our undivided attention to another, or sharing time, space and energy to do an activity together.
- Gifts: tokens of appreciation not necessarily related to honoring a special event or demonstrating a monetary value, but more to show “I was thinking of you” and “You matter.”
READ MORE about Love Languages from another post… Love is Love is Love
What would the world look like if love was the first choice in every interaction? When love is first, love can last. Let’s DO LOVE, BE LOVE, SHARE LOVE!