Resolutions Don’t Work
With the holidays done (?) perhaps decorations yet to be put away, it’s time to Begin Again. It’s a new year, with new possibilities. But it’s also not a blank slate, is it?
I’ve been running around trying to tie off ALL the loose ends and pending tasks on my to-do list. Like that’s ever a possibility. Seriously?! Who am I kidding? As a solo-preneur and currently the solo-income in my house hold, there is always pressure to do more. 🤦♀️
If I can be completely honest, I’ve been fantasizing about spending the entirety of 2025 in bed, with occasional trips to the woods to hike or bike. Yes, I still plan to do my daily Breathe-Move-Rest practice, but it will be in my bed! That should make for some interesting additions to the Life’sWork virtual practice library!
There is a part of me with just a shred of energy left… and she can’t help eyeing New Year’s resolutions that will take my life and business to the “next level”. I am an optimist at heart, just a tired one at this moment.
I know from vast experience, that traditional resolutions are almost impossible to keep for more than a few weeks, so I’m trying something a little different this year. Maybe you’ll join me?
Traditional resolutions are tempting because they let us off the hook today (I’ll start… LATER) and because it’s easy to fantasize that a fresh new year won’t have the same limitations as this year. Obviously, it will.
Resolutions Don’t Work
First, why the three most common types of resolutions don’t work.
- The Big Goal. If your 2025 resolution is something like “get a book deal” or “win the lottery” remember, that result is out of your control, which means it’s actually a dream or a wish rather than a goal. Dreams are fantastic, but they belong at the top of your vision board, not your to-do list. If you’re not clear on your dreams and wishes for the coming year, join me for 20/20 Vision Casting workshop. To actually accomplish something, goals need to be more or less within your control. If you commit to a tangible goal like “finish a final draft” or “start pitching agents by fall,” you can break it down into steps, slot them in your calendar, and make $#!+ happen.
- The Overhaul. I love aspirations to “get fit” or to “eat healthy,” or even “better work-life balance.” However, these goals are really a culmination of many smaller goals. Additionally, they lack a sense of accomplishment or completion. It’s not like health is a static condition that once accomplished is guaranteed for any length of time. The overhaul tends towards all-or-nothing thinking too, which leads to more feelings of failure than it does success. At least, it does for me!
- The “start-doing” or a “stop-doing” resolution. Like the Overhaul, starting and stopping depend on the all-or-nothing strategy. Although pretty tempting, they often require an entirely new set of habits and/or a new personality; it’s highly unlikely you’ll keep it up for more than a few weeks unless you make a massive new investment, enlist new support, or completely change your personality. There’s a reason that we’re currently doing (or not doing) that thing!
My BIG Goal
As many of you know, I have a manuscript (that’s industry speak for an unpublished book) that I want very much to publish. It’s working title is: Or Maybe This: A strategy for living well by paying attention. My big goal is to finish my book and polish it to a shine for publication. It’s totally a doable goal, but It’s been a TOP goal for a few years now. To support this goal in 2025, I’m going to take all of that fresh 2025 energy and optimism and make resolutions that I only have to do ONCE for them to have impact. I’m still thinking of a few more milestone tasks, but here is what I’ve got so far.
One Step ACTIONS
- Clear out my phone. I always have much more energy, brain space, and focus when I delete apps like social media, web browsers, and email off my phone. It’s amazing how quickly I’ll stop instinctively reaching for a distraction every time I’m bored or anxious or whatever.
- Unsubscribe from email lists. I spend a ton of time sorting email just trying to keep up. Every year, I try to purge the list of subscriptions at the start of the new year.
- Consolidate my schedule: As much as I love leading public practice and working 1:1 with yoga movement and somatic coaching clients, I just can’t do it all. So I’m cutting back on my hours for private appointments and significantly reducing my video production for the virtual library.
- Book a DIY writing retreat in April (after the new year rush at the studio!). I did it for my dissertation, so I know it can work. I just need to have a space with absolutely NO other obligations so I can focus on the text and tasks at hand.
Of course, it’s possible that the first two of these won’t work because I’ll fall into studio marketing and get lost in the fray. Also, that the third might not be productive, but I’m setting myself up for success with easy, one-time efforts in tangible ACTIONS. Then when I tick that action off my to-do list I get a hit of dopamine that affirms that I can do hard things! I have zero excuses.
Our brains release dopamine when we achieve goals and accomplish tasks. Since dopamine also improves attention, memory, and motivation, even achieving a small goal can result in a positive feedback loop that makes you more motivated to continue the effort going forward.
Invitation
What is your big goal, and what can you do ONCE to support it?
Here are a few examples of one-time bold ACTIONS that will keep you moving forward without relying only on personal willpower.
- Enroll in a class to learn something new.
- Sign up for a yoga retreat.
- Put practice times into your calendar (as a priority) so you can schedule everything else around those.
- Hire a coach (I’m available!) 🙂
- Hire a babysitter (not me, but my kids are great at this!)
- Buy (or make) a journal for reflections, gratitudes, or lists!
- Bow out of an upcoming invitation (that is NOT a whole body “yes”).
- Send a thank you/gratitude note to someone who helped you ahieve a goal in your life.
- Clean the refrigerator (or pick one appliance/closet/task!)
Then email me ([email protected]) and let me know your plans!
